Anxious Moments with Professional Code Talkers

by Laura L. Smith, Ph.D.

Chuck and I wrote a couple of blogs about children and parents that fueled some lively and heated discussion recently. Parents become passionate when their kids have any sort of problem. Anxiety skyrockets. I know. When my twin daughters were born 13 weeks early, after the first wave of fear passed, I became the advocate mom; pushing for early intervention, getting the best educational placements, and even fighting for their legal rights. Along the way I had many sleepless nights and anxious moments. I like to take action when I get anxious. So, I found myself getting two masters degrees and a doctorate in psychology. My daughters steered me into the field of psychology by their early challenges.

Last week Chuck and I attended an evaluation for one of our grandchildren. We attended as family support, not as professionals. We watched while a very talented crew of therapists, psychologists, and a pediatrician played with (and evaluated) our 18 month old grandchild. Chuck and I sat back and listened to the conclusions after a long morning. The results were carefully articulated. Each contributor started with a positive comment, one of hope, followed by a concern. For example, “he is so motivated to walk, but he falls too much,” or “his vocabulary is normal, but he doesn’t use words to communicate.”

We understood the jargon, the nuances, and what the constellation of symptoms meant for this child. But, his parents heard something else. They heard the positive news; that he wasn’t diagnosable at this time and thus, in their view, was normal. All parents want that news. And all children are gifts whether they have challenges or not.

Yet, I wonder how many other evaluations go like that? The “professionals” talk in a code that sounds like English but communicates unintended messages. It was a strange day and one of sadness.

So, what does this discussion have to do with our blog? We are committed to speaking frankly and clearly. We want to be able to communicate without code. Please let us know if we slip up. We no doubt will.

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