How Worried Are You?

by Laura L. Smith, Ph.D.

Take a moment and think about your anxiety. What right now is getting you upset? Are you worried about the coming weekend? Will you get everything done that you’ve planned? How about your job, is it secure? Lots of people are worried about money these days. Are you stressed because you haven’t followed through on your diet, your budget, or your exercise goals? Did you visit your mother last week or read to your child everyday? How worried are you?

Did this paragraph help? Sorry, didn’t mean to bring this all up again. But, there is evidence that most people actually do better when they face whatever they are anxious about head on. We frequently write about exposure and response prevention as a treatment for OCD. Exposing yourself to your anxious thoughts can also help.

If you’re like most people, you worry about things that haven’t happened yet. You won’t finish those projects; you’ll lose your job; you’ll never lose weight; save enough money; please your mother; be a good enough parent. Anxiety looks at the future and the future is unknown. The future is really unknown. We’re pretty sure that no one alive today can accurately predict the future. So anxious thoughts are like endless loops or questions without any answers.

Here are a few strategies to deal with those ruminating worries.

• Set aside a worry time. Write it down in your schedule and spend about 15 minutes worrying a day for a few weeks. During that time, write down or say your worries out loud. Do not do this late in the evening or just before bed, but do it every day. Spend five more minutes generating any solutions or productive actions you could take. If your worries pop up at other times during the day, remind yourself that you have set aside a worry time for dealing with the concern later.
• Make a goal of actively addressing one small aspect of your worry. Don’t try to do too much–take on something very small (for example give up one expensive cup of coffee a week, take the stairs at work, or read a short book to your kid). Action always trumps worries.
• Ask yourself if you have been able to cope or handle your worry in the past. How did you do it? Did you learn anything from the experience?
• Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen? Go there in your mind. How would you cope? Will you learn, change, or grow from the experience? Is there anything you can do today to lessen the odds of something like this happening? Do you have any control over the outcome? If you don’t have control, work on letting it go.
• Know that each day is a new one and be grateful. More ideas to come in future blogs.

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